Teaser Tales – NFL Week 8

The Goal

After the Week 8 Pick’em Pod, I realized how the world needs a blog on teasers to take on a weekly basis so that’s what I’m here to do. The best part about teasers are this: there’s never a time where you put one in and don’t think it’s automatic money. I assume you have been to an ATM before. You put your card in, type in your PIN, and pull out some money. Teasers feel the same way. You line up your locks, throw in your password, and have already factored that teaser into your weekly winnings for the week.  Before I go into my Week 8 teaser selection, let’s do a real quick educational session on what a teaser is and go from there.

6-point Two Team Teaser

You can adjust the game spread by 6 points for either the favorite or underdog in addition to the over/under for the game. For example, you could take a team like the Bears at home vs. the Jets, where the line is currently -8 and make the Bears -2. Or on the flip side of the coin, you can take the underdog and make the Jets +14. Typically, a standard 6-point two team teaser will be -110 (bet $110 to win $100).

Alright, now that we all understand what the heck I’m talking about, let’s get into these ATM transactions! I’m going to give out one 6-point two teamer and we’ll also go with one wild card teaser, which will be anything that looks extra juicy on any given week. I’m essentially giving myself free rain over whatever TF looks good on any given Sunday.

The Teasers

1. Two Team Teaser – I’d compare this Week 8 slate to a delicious breakfast buffet. You’re on vacation (wonderful), you’re hungry (great, you’re at a buffet), and you have all the options you need. Omelette station, pancake station, french toast, fresh fruit, coffee. You’re ready to feast. Salivating just thinking about it. Maybe I’m getting a bit over my skis here (almost definitely) but my goodness, that’s how I feel about Week 8. I’m ready to feast!!

  • Teaser Tale #1: 2 Team Teaser (-110) – Chiefs -3.5 and Bears -2
    • Chiefs: The Chiefs haven’t not covered yet. Yep, I just stared the mush gods in the face and didn’t flinch circa Kobe/Matt Barnes 2010. The Broncos are a disastrous 0-6 SU and ATS their last six games vs. the Chiefs. I’m aware that at some point this Chiefs magical run will end. I just don’t see it ending this week in a tease. Since 2017, the Chiefs are 9-3 ATS at home in the friendly confines of Arrowhead. Make this one an anchor of your Sunday and don’t @ me if things hit the fan.
    • Bears: The Bears are a different team at Soldier Field, going 11-4-1 ATS in their last 16 home games. The Bears defense has struggled the last two weeks, even though it was against two elite QBs in the Brocketship and Brady. In all seriousness though, the best way to get right is against a rookie QB on the road. Darnold hasn’t been awful on the road this year but he’s coming off his worse start of the season where he went 17-42 for 206 yards 1 TD and 3 INTs.  Yes, it’s scary relying on Trubisky but I’m buying the rest of the Bears team in this must-win for them at home to cover -2.
  • Teaser Tale #2: 3 Team Special Teaser (-130) – Chiefs + 1/2 , Colts +7, Rams +1
    • Chiefs: See above plus you get 4 more points. Lovely.
    • Colts +7: The Raiders are an absolute dumpster fire right now! Taking the spread in this one feels a bit trappy but in a 10 point special teaser?! Sign me up! Colts are starting to get healthy with the return of T.Y. and Marlon Mack and are 4-1 SU in their last 5 vs. Oakland.
    • Rams +1: Fading Rodgers as the biggest underdog of his career scares me. But luckily ladies and gentlemen, we can put the Rams in a nice little 10-pointer and essentially make this a PK. I love the Rams to win this one at home because I don’t see how on Earth the Packers defense can contain the Rams offense at all given what C.J. Beathard and the Niners did to them.

We shall see how these Teaser Tales pan out but right now, they’re feeling realllll good!

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