Siciliano Ears Red Zone Rankings – NFL Week 5

We’re officially through the first quarter of the NFL season. As any public firm would do, I’ll provide you with some highlights and analysis on Weeks 1-4. Here are some quick hitters on what we think we know so far:

  1. LA Rams are the best team in football and it’s not even close right now.
  2. Patrick Mahomes is the most electric player in the league. Whether it’s slinging the rock 70 yards or completing a pass with his left hand, I’m glued to the TV anytime the Chiefs play.
  3. I’m taking the Redskins to win the NFC East. Alex Smith leading the squad with the 2nd best defense in the NFL. What could possible go wrong….
  4. The singularity has begun and the robots have chosen Jason Witten as their first victim. Get Booger in the booth!

Will these bullet points age well? Besides #4, probably not. But hey, that’s the prediction business for ya. So we’re closing the books on Q1 and getting started with Q2. We’ve got a great slate of action to dive into so let’s get started.

The Slate – Week 5

12 games, 8 early, and 4 late. Bears and Buccaneers on bye. Quick side note – hot take by Dirk Koetter after last week’s loss to the Bears. Not really sure what he was going for there given nobody would have thought the Buccaneers would start this year 2-2.  I’m cool with it though because now we get the long awaited return of Jameis (“Jamebooie”) Winston at starting QB. Back to our rankings – here’s what I like in the early slate.

  1. Falcons @ Steelers -3: As Simmons would call it, this is a loser leaves town matchup. Week 5 seems early but definitely feels that way for these two.  Over/under is 57 so expect to see a lot of cuts to this one on Red Zone.
  2. Jaguars @ Chiefs -3: Sacksonville coming into Arrowhead to take on Patrick “Showtime” Mahomes. Definitely some nice betting trends for the Jaguars in this one (as discussed on our Pick’em Pod) but tough going against that Chiefs offense right now at home.
  3. Ravens @ Browns +3: You can simply thank Baker Mayfield for this one making the “Exciting Games” list. This Browns team was actually one of my favorites to watch during Q1 as they were involved in some wild games early. They’re a guarantee for some Baker electricity, Myles Garrett beast mode plays, and Hue Jackson’s journey to improving his 2-33-1 record in Cleveland.
  4. Packers @ Lions PK: Pepe Slyvia took this one as his lock of the week when it was Packers -1. Cannot wait to see how his third straight week of choosing a road favorite plays out. Seems like the sharps came in on the Lions so that’s gotta be a great sign for Pepe.
  5. Giants @ Panthers -7: I’m invested in the Panthers success this week and hopefully high point differential so I’m throwing this one into the exciting pile.
  6. Dolphins @ Bengals -6: This is a matchup of two 3-1 teams. And I think the Bengals might actually be good? Are the Dolphins as bad as they were in Foxboro? We’ll find out today.

The other two early ones aren’t so wonderful.

  1. Titans @ Bills +5: If you have the kahunas to bet on this game and make it interesting, more power to you.
  2. Broncos @ Jets +1: Remember when the Jets beat the Lions 48-17 in Week 1? Yup, that feels a full quarter ago.

We get four late games again this week. Thank you NFL scheduling gods for these entertaining games given how awful our SNF game is.

  1. Raiders @ Chargers -5.5: Over/under for this one is 51.5. That feels low. Expect some points and a lot of Raiders fans in LA.
  2. Vikings @ Eagles -3: Eagles are my lock of the week. NFC Championship game rematch. I’m here for it.
  3. Rams @ Seahawks +7: I debated between putting this one in the exciting games list or poop pile. Bottom line is the Rams offense is too good to not be included with this bunch.

I’m convinced three people east of Chicago will be tuned in for this one.

  1. Cardinals @ 49ers -3: Pepe Slyvia, my dad, and I are those three^^.

The Ranking

= ((1 * Entertaining Games) – (0.5 * Poop Games)) * (1+Weekly Multiplier)

= ((1*9)-(0.5*3))*(1.1) = 8 Siciliano ears!

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First ever 8 for the Siciliano Ears Ranking!! Did you hEAR that one, Andrew? He’s probably pretty excited at the DIRECTV studios right now as I am before the start of the games this Sunday.

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